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On the road to Self-Discovery

Ever thought to yourself that you really need to take that break and go travelling so that you can discover or rediscover yourself; so that you can learn things about yourself that you haven’t so far paid too much attention to?

Well here’s a revelation, I made 15 self discoveries about myself and I dint have to go much further than 100 or less square feet I call me home. One must realize that the road to self discovery doesn’t really lie on the road outside of your home but more often than not it is the road that leads to your heart. What you really need to do is sit down with calm and recall all those moments which may have left you either extremely happy or extremely exasperated, and in retrospect you will find answers you didn’t think existed.

Today I am sharing some of the most intimate details about myself, in the hope that it may help someone else realize that all you have to do is really listen.

So here goes:

  1. I am scared to learn new things for the fear that once I learn them I won’t be good enough at them.
  2. I usually end up thinking people are better than they actually are which eventually leads to disappointment.
  3. It is nice to make plans but I can’t get upset if things don’t go a certain way…sometimes it’s okay to go with the flow.
  4. Every now and then I need a man to obsess over, it’s not because I am in love with him or that he is absolutely great, it just that I need to be obsessed about something. At times like these I must not take myself too seriously.
  5. Every time I am stuck in a spot where I feel down and out, I must know I am better than this.
  6. When in doubt or stuck in a tricky situation, I need to call dad….without thinking about the what he is going to say or how angry he is going to get.
  7. Every time I think my world is going to collapse and I can’t go on anymore, I need to remember I have thought this before and yet somehow found the strength to move ahead.
  8. Travelling alone can be super fun; I should do it more often.
  9. Letting go can be very difficult but it’s not impossible; if I really try I can do it. It all depends on my willingness to do so.
  10. Things are bound to go wrong but I have to stop analyzing what I did wrong. Sometimes people behave the way they do due to their own insecurities.
  11. I should not trust people say when they say they understand my plight or what I have been through (especially men) more often than not they are doing it to get into my pants.
  12. My first instinct about people is usually correct I should learn to believe in it.
  13. Never say never, chances are I will end up doing just that in less than a week
  14. Always remember what dad once said, “Chalti hai to aisa lagta hai zameen ko thokor maar rahi hai” (roughly translates to “too much self confidence may be even bordering arrogance”).
  15. Life will continue to teach me the same lesson until I finally learn it.

I am leaving you with a thought, lines from a song that I didn’t even know existed on my playlist, just made me realize that no matter how far I am from what destiny has in store for me; I must definitely be on the right road,

In the mad quest to gather the knowledge of the Universe…

You have forgotten to search within yourself.

Forever knocking on God’s door…

You have forgotten to look with in your heart.

 

Love Always, Xena.

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