Now before you start judging a book by its cover, no this blog has got nothing to do with staying fit and healthy. Not in the physical sense of the word at least.
Its got to do with mental health or peace; with fitting-in, be it with a group of friends or in an organisation. Somehow I was find myself at the losing end of this stick all the time. I promise you I have tried to blend-in but mostly I stick out, like a sore thumb!
The natural reaction to this is for me to blame the world, but for once I think I need an out of body experience.
I love to tell the stories, but this time I am going to jump right to the conclusion. Yes I did disappoint a lot of people with my recent art of scene creation but the one person I disappointed the most was me.
The last time I had an outburst ( by now you can guess I have my fair share of outbursts) I promised myself that I wouldn’t play into the hands of someone else’s actions and yet I did.
In retrospect the only person to blame for my situation is me. Simply because I handed over my control to someone else.
Volatile is an adjective that has attached itself to me with super glue, and not without reason. But give this a thought too, it’s easy to pin a crime on the naughty kid in school, because no one will second guess the accusation. And to some extent maybe the naughty kid even had it coming. Karma you know. You pay one way or another.
What does the volatile-naughty kid do at this point? Deny the accusation, fight it with accusations of her own, act even more volatile or accept the punishment?
Through my life I have opted for one of the afore mentioned solutions, but since I am trying to do things differently this time, I am going to start a new line of thought, I am going to evaluate if I am in the right school to start with.
Maybe the school is absolutely amazing and the teachers and other kids are awesome, maybe the core of the issue is that I am a misfit in this school. Sometimes an environment that maybe right for a certain set of people is something that just does not work for you.
Maybe it’s not about good and bad or right and wrong anymore. Maybe it just is.
The idea is to try and find an environment that works for me instead of finding ways to blame the people in the existing one.
After all we need to take charge for our own destinies.
Sometimes a bad thing is a very good thing.
Love always, Z