Remember when the two of you used to be best friends, and couldn’t wait to tell each other stuff. Maybe not everything, but the important stuff or the funny stuff or the heart breaking stuff. And now, you see each other, node politely, exchange a kind word or two, promise to catch up and then go your own merry way.
How many friendships did you have that have now seen the same fate? Doesn’t it intrigue you to see how things have changed? Slowly one day at a time, change has crept up and certain equations that once were your lifeline, are now nothing more than weird, lets-behave-like-nothing-ever-happened moments.
I remember being 21, back then if I lost a friend I would not be able to sleep for nights. It was like a calamity. Now, the older I get, the easier it becomes to move on, to let things be, instead of calling up and confronting people about what went wrong. A part of me says, that with age my ego and cynicism towards relationships has increased, but another insists that there is probably great wisdom in knowing that sometimes all you can do is let people go.
No matter how grown-up I try to be, how many times I flip my hair backwards and say, “F*** You, I don’t care…”, the truth is I still do. There is that familiar ache in the pit of my stomach every time I see a friendship dying, or like some would say, a relationship living its course. I don’t have sleepless nights anymore, but every once in a while when I see something, that reminds me of a friend gone by, there is still a little pinch, in that corner of my heart.
Love Always, Z