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Pass or Fail?

It’s funny how sometimes the memories section on Facebook with just one picture can bring to the fore a plethora of memories. Some of which you cherish, some you regret and then there are those that you have been trying to forget for as long as you can remember.

The picture I saw today was of my graduation from college, black robes and hat throwing, the whole nine yards!

Graduation day.

Graduation day.

I graduated from KC (believe me, you don’t want to learn the whole name) with a degree in Mass Media and a major in “how to survive Mumbai”.

I entered college with 84% marks, my School President batch still pinned onto my pencil pouch, a head full of ideas on what I wanted to do with my newly attained freedom (Yes, I had been liberated from the dictator called Dad and the jail called Kuwait). I was now in what was, only the most happening city in India, Mumbai, as they like to call it or Bombay, as I like to call it or Bumbai as my mom calls it.

I made 12 solid friends, within the first three months of my first year in college. And then one fine day, I had 0 solid friends; to this day I don’t know what happened!?! Needless to say things only went downhill from there. The first year in the big city finally came to an end with me being suspended for a year, because I attempted to copy and got caught 5 minutes before I was to submit the answer sheet (talk about a stroke of bad luck!)

At a time in my life when I thought, things would never look up, my dictator – my dad, came to the rescue. After months of making excuses on how my college has not started yet, because of the Mumbai monsoons, I finally had to him the truth. I needed to give all my exams again and could only resume college the consequent year.

I was, at this point prepared for the worst – a whole load of S***t, a full stop on my education and possible matrimony to the next available Mulla!  Contrary to all my beliefs, he just looked at me and said, “Well you have made a mistake, now you pay the price for it.” And then went on to add, “What do you want us to say to people, the truth or some lie about you taking a year off to do a computer course.” I of course chose the lie.

I attempted the tests in September of that year, passed and decided to continue my degree at the same college. At this point, my old classmates had moved ahead in life and my new classmates had already been with each other for a year, it was difficult to break through cliques and become a part of already existing groups.

I remember over hearing some whispers on the first day of my return to college, some of my old classmates were confirming to some of my new classmates that “yes, that indeed is the girl who copied and got suspended.”

The break year wasn’t easy but perhaps that’s fodder for a different blog. Eventually, I did make some friends and loads of memories; some good, mostly bad.

In the end, when I graduated, I may have passed with a distinction but what I had truly learned was how to fail in life.

Love Always, Z


  1. Snehal says

    This is your most courageous post and I admire you for writing it and almost feel affectionate towards you for being able to say it as it is. No mean task to be able to put out into the world your painful memories. However I disagree with the final sentence, unless I have misinterpreted it. I don’t think you learned how to fail in life. Your learned how to ‘live’ life even when you didn’t feel like facing it.
    PS: I think your dad is an amazing parent!

    • Thanks Sneh! What I meant by the last line was that, life isn’t always about succeeding, sometimes its about failing and accepting that failure and moving on. And yes! Dad has his moments.

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