Last month was my 29th birthday, and while I had imagined a lot of scenarios, in terms of what life was going to look like this close to the big 3-O, single and laid off was not one of them. One day I was debating on whether I should go minimalistic on my new apartment interiors and the very next day, I was thanking my stars for the fact that I was still living under my father’s roof.
*sighs* *dramatically looks outside the window* *sighs* *shakes head*
Through my university years, where I should have been chilling like a villian, my self imposed poverty had me running around between classes, job and hostel deadlines. Thinking if I did my time now, if I worked hard enough, professional success would kiss my feet soon enough… the universe last month just pointed a big finger in my direction and went, ‘Ha! Ha!’
In the last four years in Kuwait, I have gone from an admin job (desperate times…desperate measures), to a Corporate job (oh the devil) to find land a publishing gig (this was meant to be the dream job), to now – 83 days away from being jobless!
As far as plans go, mine look like soft cornflakes in a milk bowl that has sat on the table for two hours too long.
I was supposed to be on my way to the second child by now, posing for a picture holding my first daughter in one hand, a swollen belly and a charming husband, with his hands around my shoulders. Mind you, my belly is still swollen, but from the tubs of ice cream consumed while watching sappy movies that make you believe that such realities can be viable dreams.
Given the fact that my career is spinning out of control *refer to paragraph one, line three*, this week I decided to take matters into my own hands *figuratively*. So on the suggestion of a friend, I signed up for OKCupid, an app apparently meant to find long-term relationships, as opposed to Tinder which is meant to find hook ups *long term contentment versus instant gratifications*. The app much like tinder, asks you to swipe left if you don’t like the guy and I swiped left on every single one of them. Only to realize a couple of hours later, when a ridiculous number of men seemed interested in me, that when the app says swipe left it means my left, not the phone’s left! Given the fact that this turned out to be yet another failed attempt at finding love, tonight I might have to take things in to my own hands again *this time literally*.
For someone who has always treated financial security as the key to gaining freedom and independence, from the tyranny of this male dominating society *yes, yes dramatic flair*, today I find myself at a cross road where maybe life in its own twisted way is trying to telling me something different because *yes, yes the universe’s dramatic flair*.
As a wise friend pointed out that the biggest difference between when I was down in the dumps last time to this time is that I am surrounded by friends and family I can seek refuge in. While that’s an excellent thought to have, it does make me wonder how the hell do I end up down in the dumps so many times in one lifetime?
Bad decisions, too much heart not enough head, or as someone recently pointed out – 10 extra kilos and a bad dressing sense, I am yet to determine where the real problem is LAID? (*see what I did there? *)